Thursday, March 24, 2011

30 Day Challenge  - Day 18

 A picture of your biggest insecurity.
 30 Day Challenge isn't messing around with this one. It seems so cliche, but it seems to be the driving force behind everything else that our inner-critic beats us up over: I'm scared of being alone.

And as you well know, not "alone" in an "eek! it's dark and scary in this house" alone... but the kind where you really seriously wonder if there is anyone out there that will love you despite your faults and flaws and maybe even love you more BECAUSE of them. Call it just being a girl, or a romantic, or even attribute it to a biological clock but regardless- but it's more real than any of my other insecurities. Because the "you're alone" insecurity, for me, fuels the questions that seems to haunt my gender... "am i not pretty enough?"... "am i not talented enough?"..."am i not skinny enough?"... "am i not smart enough?"... "am I not good enough?"

It's a pretty vicious cycle. And the cognitive, rational me knows that I'm not alone. Knows that I need to tell my inner critic to shut up. Knows that our creator does think I'm perfect because He's forgiven my faults and flaws. But dang, that's hard... so I'm just being honest.

2 comments:

Brooke S said...

i really do just love you.

Anonymous said...

you are not alone. you will never be alone. you may not have a significant other right now but you have an amazing group of friends who will be with you till the end and i envy you for that. so even if you don't have a boyfriend right now you have a million more friends who would be there for you no matter what. and a sister who loves you too.