if boredom strikes...

one of the more amusing conversations i've had in a while:

Meredith: i can however, write backwards in cursive rather quickly.

Meredith: but this requires a non-computer demonstration.

James: Really?

James: That's pretty impressive

James: ALthough you could be lying and I guess I'd believe you

Meredith: that would be a silly thing to lie about.

James: I saved the whales once

Meredith: really? i instigated world peace. and lowered gas prices simply by shaving my legs.

James: I stopped the Black Plauge

Meredith: i learned how to spell PLAGUE and then finished editing the entire dictionary. in thirty different languages.

James: crap

James: I found America three weeks before Columbus

Meredith: I helped found the colony on the moon that no one yet knows about because I own the FBI and Russia.

James: Oh? Well then you'll probably be pretty upset to know that I'm responsible for the collapse of the USSR

Meredith: actually, i made you from specially engineered organic machinery to do exactly that- using my NuFlesh (patent pending) technology

James: Actually, that was God. And what.

James: I stopped World War One from happening three times

Meredith: It was God. me and God. we negotiated a merger.

James: Haha

James: Blasphemer

Meredith: I think it happened twice though. And Bush is in office so we'll see about that third time.

Meredith: Blasphemer and a Democrat. EVICT ME FROM THE CHURCH!

James: haha

James: I also got Bush into office

Meredith: I'm the one who made his daughter have a drinking problem.

James: hahahaha

James: I found Sadaam Hussein

Meredith: I found the Dead Sea Scrolls.

James: Too bad that happened in the early 1940s

Meredith: I also invented a time machine, duh.

James: One time, Kristy was being attacked by a Dragon and I knocked the dragon out......but Kristy was unconcious, so I had to pick her up....but by that time the dragon was coming back up.........so I had to attack him and carry Kristy.....then out of no where another dragon came carrying Andrew in his mouth......so I had to kill that dragon.......then using a series of difficult mathmatical equations I made the second dragon appear to look like Kristy and the first Dragon just ate him instead. Then, just when I thought it was all over, a dragon came carrying Tyler. And then I left

Meredith: hahahaha

Meredith: i took Tylers chin.

Meredith: ...and I'm a ninja.

James: I founded the ninjas

James: And gave the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles their ooze

Meredith: i was the first to slice bread. and made the first wheel.

James: I found fire

James: And then made bread

Meredith: I gave Michael Jackson the idea of wearing one silver glove.

James: I helped George Washington win the American Revolution

Meredith: I taught Bill Gates how to type.

James: I introduced you to Bill Gates

Meredith: I introduced your mother to your father.

James: I invented Pepto Bismol

Meredith: I told Pythagoras about his theorem and threw the apple at Newton's head.

James: I built a sandcastle and watch the ocean destory it then made up some story about Atlantis

Meredith: I helped Hydrogen and Oxygen in a counseling session so they would bond and make up your silly ocean.

James: I taught Einstein the Alphabet

Meredith: I gave him his infamous haircut.

James: I started the fad of wearing underwear

Meredith: i invented the loom and threadmaking process.

James: I named toliets "Johns" after a buddy of mine

Meredith: i coached Mona Lisa on how to smile.

James: You didn't do a very good job

James: No offense

James: I taught Robert Frost and Walt Whitman how to write poetry

Meredith: I taught Shakespeare iambic pentameter.

Meredith: and was the inspiration for Juliet.

James: hahahahahahahaha

James: that was a good one

James: I ended slavery

Meredith: I stopped AIDs in Africa.

James: you did a bad job of that too by the way

James: I told U2 they should start a band

Meredith: I gave Bono those sunglasses as a birthday present.

James: I founded the YMCA

Meredith: I told Jim Henson that Kermit should be a frog and not a giraffe.

James: haha

James: I told Henry Ford that I thought people could make sandwhiches much faster if they each had a sepearte job in what I called an "Assembly Line" and then he applied it to cars

Meredith: I made the first gear by cutting holes in that wheel i'd invented a while back.

James: I gave Michael Jordon his first basketball and told him how to play

Meredith: I forged metals in a mineshaft and later used them to make zippers for Levi Strauss.

James: I invented the Internet

Meredith: liar. That was Al Gore.

Meredith: I gave Doc the idea for the Flux Capacitor.

James: I played Michael J. Fox in those movies

Meredith: Oh, then i'm sorry that i was the first medical expert to diagnose Parkinson's.

James: I'm known as the Father of Modern Medicine

Meredith: I gave you the silly name Hippocrates.

James: I divided Africa up into countries

Meredith: I found dinosaur DNA in a mosquito encased in amber and revived the species on an island with the assistance of Jeff Goldblum.

James: I kissed Shania Twain once

Meredith: I'm the reason Brad Pitt ended his marriage with Jennifer.

James: I started Baseball

Meredith: and i was behind the whole Ben and JLo thing too

Meredith: I caught Babe Ruths first homerun.

James: I built Washington DC using some popsicle sticks and chewing gum

Meredith: i was the first person to ever use a fork.

James: I invented the Spork right after I founded Bojangles

Meredith: I defeated the South in the Civil War.

James: Please don't tell me you're a yankee

Meredith: and told Martha to make the flag red, white and blue rather than magenta and orange. (yes, Born and raised in New York)

James: ouch

James: I discovered fishing

Meredith: i told grammarians the proper way to use a period, comma, semicolon, exclamation point and question mark.

James: I hope you realize we're building a relationship completely based on lies

Meredith: perhaps that’s the secret to success and happiness?