30 Day Challenge - Day 14

30 Day Challenge - Day 14

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

My dad.

I guess the most frightening part about with this one is that it's actually a reality... there will be, at some point, a time when I won't have my dad around. A reality that, frankly, has been a little too close for comfort recently.

Past: There was a time when I really, truly thought that I'd never speak to my dad again. That he'd hurt me enough and I didn't want to have anything to do with him ever again. I remember distinctly being the most heartbroken because I felt that he'd given up his chance to be the one to walk me down the aisle. But hearts change, people change, God intervenes and we find that we're able to forgive someone that means the world to us...

Our childhood heroes aren't always who we build them up to be. 

Our parents turn out to be human and make mistakes. 

The scars and bruises left behind by others and our own decisions shape who we become. 

And it turns out that it's okay... if we don't let it ruin us.

It turned out that within a mess, I got a pretty amazing brother and sister. They make my life better by just having them around. I can't picture not having them in my life either... which is why my life just wouldn't be the same without my dad being my dad- and everything that comes with it.

Present: My dad is sick. He has myleodysplastic disorder, which is basically the front-runner to leukemia. The clinical nature of it all makes me feel sort of numb every time I say it. But it means that despite having a 94 year old grandmother, I probably won't get to keep him that long. It means that while I think myself independent, I'm realizing how often I call him when something is broken, how often I need help and guidance with so much, how much advice I get in our conversations, and how much I still need to hear him say that he loves me and he's proud of me. 

I'm not ready yet. 

Future: I want him to walk me down the aisle. I want him to be a grandfather. I want him to see the twins graduate from high school, so I don't have to be the one to remind them of what a great man he was. And maybe, just maybe, when it is time for him to go- he'll know what I know.

30 Day Challenge - Day 13

30 Day Challenge - Day 13

  A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Thrice. You've probably never heard of them, but that's okay.

It's hard to pick just one*, so I tried to pick one a little less obvious. I don't know if I'd even claim them as my current favorite artist, but they were for a pretty significant amount of time. (My musical tastes have mellowed out a bit... I used to love nothing more being front and center at a show, squished by sweaty strangers, singing along and trying to maintain my balance... but times change.) The above picture was taken at the Warped Tour with my friend Julie, but i've been able to meet/see them preform a number of times. 

The title of this blog was actually taken from a lyric of their song "Subtle Dagger"

"our souls they speak of something more,
but we can't look beyond ourselves.
we implore empty skies because
our hearts hold room for no one else"

[ *Honorable Mentions: Damien Rice, Weezer, Regina Spektor, Ben Folds & The Beatles. ]

30 Day Challenge - Day 12

30 Day Challenge  - Day 12

A picture of something you love

I <3 the 80's

I do. While I wasn't exactly coherent enough during the ACTUAL 80's to remember much, my pseudo-nostalgia is still pretty strong. The absolutely horrendous fashion, the synthesized pop-music, the cheesy-yet-poignant movies characterizing adolescence... it's such a hot mess it somehow folds in on itself to become awesome. 

This picture was taken at Meredith's themed birthday party- 1985. Christie and I made a sweet Pac-Man cake! I gave Cameron flock of seagulls hair! I took Polaroids! We played twister!

love, McFly*

30 Day Challenge - Day 11

30 Day Challenge - Day 11

A picture of something you hate.

Glitter.

"The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever
because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies."
-Demetri Martin

I dislike the phrase "arts & crafts" in general because I have very little appreciation for "crafts," especially ones that allow for no creativity or imagination whatsoever. Of popsicle sticks, cotton balls, sequins, pipe cleaners, pom-poms... glitter is by far the most obnoxious.

 I also made this awesome picture for you all, to show you how I also feel about bananas. But most people know about my theory about bananas being the Bully Fruit because they make EVERYTHING taste like banana. Nasty-town. (In my head, the dialogue for the above is some variation of the "give me your lunch money" scenario but instead banana declares all smoothies to be "HIS territory now")

30 Day Challenge - Day 10

30 Day Challenge - Day 10

A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.

Here's the thing, I think it's just in Cameron's NATURE to do things that are kinda messed up. I just happen to be around, and don't discourage him from doing such things. I happen to think Cameron's antics are hilarious, as a fan of all things ridiculous. However, aside from a semi-annual haircut on my porch, there has been a severe lack of Cameron in my life. Thumbs down.

30 Day Challenge - Day 9

30 Day Challenge - Day 9

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

This one was really hard, because I have quite a number of amazing friends that have helped me go through a lot. But, in looking at the seasons of my life and when I've struggled the most... it was, without a doubt, my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. In which case, Danielle wins by a landslide.  

I was more or less a train wreck of a person. She saw my family fall apart and helped hold together the pieces of my mostly shattered spirit. We had boy troubles and caused some trouble. While I look back at that time with mixed feelings, I'm glad that I had Danielle there to experience it with me. She moved to Texas to be near her family not long after that.

I am thankful that I got to spend time with Jane, her mother, and got to know what a warm, compassionate person she was. And I remember the exact moment, alone in a ceramics studio, when Danielle called me to tell me when her mom's battle with leukemia was finally over... and crying and hating that Danielle was so far away and I couldn't be there for her like she was for me.

We don't talk or see each other as often as we once did- I suppose as a result of growing up and over a thousand miles distance to blame. But she's an amazing person and one whom I was so blessed to have had in my life especially at that time.

[The picture was taken when I went to see Danielle in Texas, and we were at the wild cat reserve where she worked. And we're just not going to talk about the bangs I'm sporting.]

30 Day Challenge - Day 8

30 Day Challenge - Day 8 

A picture that makes you laugh.

Tyler Smither can make me laugh purely by existing. Anything beyond that just leads to hilarity. This was some sort of dress up day at camp... I don't remember what the theme was, but what I do know is that we put Tyler in a child-sized ninja turtle costume, then I modified the shell into a dragon/dinosaur head. Tyler then proceeded to run (in the very distinct style that is Tyler) around camp being chased by children. He also had a theme song of the day that went like this:

"Trogdor was a man/ I mean, he was a dragon man/ Or maybe he was just a dragon/
But he was still Trogdor!/ Burninating the countryside/ Burninating the peasants/
Burninating all the peoples/ And their thatched-roof cottages!"

The Jungle Room saw an extraordinary number of ridiculous moments that summer. This is just one.